Denise's words she shared with a 2013 audience.
| Thank you. Sometimes you just know you’re going to have to speak and God prepares you for it, so I knew I was going to have to say something, but I am not prepared. But you know the love in this room and you could see it the moment Jerry walked in. I am one of the luckiest people alive because my dad was a drunk, I truly believe that. I believe it with all my heart. My Father’s Table came from, my dad who worked third shift and he used to bring tacos in the middle of the night because it was the only thing open. When I was home from college I was the night owl, my mom and my brother weren’t. I thought he wanted to share those tacos, it wasn’t until a year or two before he died that I figured out that those were not tacos that he wanted to share, but he did. My dad learned to do the right thing. He was always the best man inside. I don’t know what anybody’s struggle is in here but I know that every person has a struggle and every person has a journey and every person has their good times and their bad times and every person has just something they need to get through. I feel very blessed and grateful that I can see the beauty because my dad was an alcoholic and because my dad learned the 12 steps, my life has been richly blessed. I can tell you stories, not many because I blocked out most of that part of my life when he was actually drunk. From the time I was in the 6th grade I would take a nap at my house and I would wake up and there would be three men standing there from an AA meeting, dad would never give, you know we talk about enabling, dad would never give anybody anything but he would let them earn it. Sticks that would have went around our house not picked up sometimes there was AA people their picking them up because he wasn’t going to give you 10.00 but he would let you earn 10.00. The countless times when my dad would sit around a table and love a person that to society was deemed unlovable because of their mistakes and failures, how they dressed or what they had not done with their life. When those lessons happen right in front of you around the table and you see all people treated equally no matter their sexuality, race, education, last name, it is powerful. I had lunch with these ladies and gentleman many of times both in Flushing, Michigan and in Statesville, NC. When I went to Statesville I knew what time my dad had lunch, my dad was dependable and would be there, to the point that I would walk in the restaurant and the waitresses would say he’s not here yet. He believed in being local, he believed in people and he believed in giving unconditional love, but love with boundaries too. The one thing that my dad passed onto me long ago was the ability to see the core of people and the core of people gets covered up by the self will and the selfishness. It covers it up and it starts young without our permission and without us even knowing. We come to a point, that we have a choice to face it or continue to run and hide behind false ideas and thoughts, but he didn’t just talk this lesson as most houses do, he lived it. Willing to sit at a table or invite the roughest individuals into our home. He didn’t care what another thought. He had been at that point in life that if something didn’t change he was going to die and he knew firsthand the pain of another. He didn’t just sugar coat and read how I should act, he showed me. My dad along with others that have found life’s peace did not come into a situation of facing it because they wanted to, it was because they no longer could live with themselves. Their brilliant and best thinking was killing them and they came to understand the destructive nature of where this behavior would lead if it continued. It is the hopelessness that brings a person to their knees when they are completely broken and willing to learn something new, a different way, they see what someone else has and they want it so they become willing to swallow pride and ask for help. |  He didn’t come into these rooms to learn the 12 steps, he came in because he wanted to live and came to understand his way was hopeless. It was the pain and suffering that he was creating in his own life that brought him to the willingness to learn another way. For him it came in the form of a 12 step program, which not only helped him to quit drinking but helped him to unpack that garbage of the past that holds us in bondage. He along with others found the ability to truly love others, forgive those who have hurt you, and to let people be who they are even when you can see the pain and suffering that they are causing themselves. The learning through experience that teaches us that our words are powerful either blessing or cursing others, how to be the “real” you with no masks, no cover-ups, yet completely transparent. The freedom that comes is a peace that passes all understanding. I saw the freedom that these guys travel with and that they passed onto me, and you know how can I not be so grateful, because my dad was an alcoholic, I have this man in my life. So you know some people inherit money I inherited him. My father’s table, I have always said for years, my dad didn’t know faith, I wasn’t raised in a church or anything but we found faith. We found faith along life’s journey and I so appreciate being able to find it that way. It wasn’t shoved into my throat nothing was shoved into my throat and to be honest with you, I didn’t even know that I knew the 12 steps. Until I went to write down how I had gone about battling through my own depression and finding a different way out and my friend and I were trying to list out what I did and then I got a hold of my dad’s AA book or saw something from Al Anon and I’m like "oh my goodness its right here. There’s 12 steps and this is what it is." My dad passed it on without me even knowing it and this what you have the ability to do. What happens in a 12 step room the world needs, the world needs and it’s the people who think they have no problems who especially need it. Everybody needs 12 steps, but you can’t necessarily tell them they need 12 steps you know what I’m saying because they don’t know that they need 12 steps, I didn’t know that I needed 12 steps, I didn’t even know that I did 12 steps, I just knew that when you do this then you go through your resentments. I couldn’t name the steps and I couldn’t number the steps for you, but I know how to live them and for that I am forever grateful.  My greatest responsibility begins in my house. Leading by example in all situations. Passing It On!
|
RSS Feed